¿WHAT IS LOVE?

Well if we thing about love, probably you thing is a rare feeeling that everyone in our lives have felt, but in some time you thing what is love really?.

Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or take away love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims.

TYPES OF LOVE

1.- Romantic Love

It is formed from the combination of intimacy and passion. This type of love arises when lovers have both a physical and an emotional attraction, even though this feeling of bonding does not come from the hand of commitment. In other words, it is one of the most emotional types of love, but it is not based on a relational dynamic that gives it stability, which makes its risk of triggering conflictive or problematic experiences relatively high.

2.- Friend Love

To love someone as a friend, in my humble opinion, can mean any (if not most or all) of the following: You see your friend as they are, rather than what you want them to be. You accept them at their worst, no strings attached. You praise them at their best, no jealousy involved.

3.- Pragmatic Love

It is the combination of playful love with friendly love. Practical sense is the basis of this love, where the couple seek common interests and approach love from a realistic and practical sense. In general, it is a love where the couple has the same interests, the same tastes, the same social class, etc. It is a rational way of approaching love, since pragmatic lovers look for well-defined qualities in their partner and know what they are looking for. Compatibility is the basis of this love.

Love is bigger than you are. You can invite love, but you cannot dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love or not, but in the end, love strikes like lightning: unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you don't like at all. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addenda, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires.

Well, this video talks about a meaning of love:

THE CHEMISTRY OF LOVE

There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Of course, estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area (see How Sex Works). Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.

That initial giddiness that comes when we're first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and well-known love researcher from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. She also says, "The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature."

LEARNING TO LOVE AND BE LOVED

Loving and being loved are not “givens.” The world would be a far better place if each child who is brought into it was wanted and beloved—if not before birth then shortly after, once its presence resounds. That, unfortunately, is not the case. Horror stories, such as those described in the Adverse Childhood Experiences studies, abound, detailing challenges faced by unloved children. One inevitable outcome is that they then need to learn to give and receive love. Because love was not something they always knew, they do not automatically know how to do it well, especially when it comes to loving themselves and feeling worthy of being loved by another.

Happily, a capacity to feel love seems to be as hard-wired as our abilities to walk, speak, read, or play. Some internal conditions such as a sound sensorimotor system, absence from pain, access to relative comfort, and basic safety from harm allow a baby to enjoy the pleasures of touch, of reciprocity in gazes and laughter, of being able to depend on someone to care for needs that cannot yet be met independently. A “secure attachment,” the cornerstone of a loving relationship, develops out of trust that someone will provide what is needed. When neglect, abuse, or squalor replace basic comfort, the baby develops a different understanding of and set of expectations for relationships.

What other kinds of love await us?

• We can love babies. Their soft skin, sweet smell, oversized heads and responsiveness when their needs are met invite us to love them. The more two beings know each other, the greater the bonds of love can grow. As our capacity increases, we can reach out to love more broadly and deeply.

• We love family. Sometimes. Some family members more than others. And family of choice as well as family by blood or legal ties. We can learn to love those with whom we share our daily lives because of our sheer exposure to each other’s basic existence.

• We love those we care for. There is something about physically taking care of another human being who is dependent on us for that care that reaches deep into our capacity to give, to make a difference. It allows us to love them as well as to love how we feel being able to make the difference. Caregivers often report abiding joy from their connections.

• We love companions. The bonds of friendship are a special form of love, one in which we grow and share as our lives evolve. In navigating our mutual stresses and triumphs, sharing activities and tribulations, we come to appreciate each other’s strengths and grow from them. The “expansion theory of love” developed by Arthur and Elaine Aron can apply to friendships as well as romantic love relationships.

So, What do you think love is?

Sebastián Muñoz

3RO "C"